


How Eggsy Got Lucky

by UsedRomance



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Anal Sex, Cunnilingus, F/F, F/M, Oral Sex, Other, Pegging, Sex Toys, Threesome - F/F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-15
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-10 12:55:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17426294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UsedRomance/pseuds/UsedRomance
Summary: “Eggsy’s no perv, alright? He’s heard plenty of jokes from his mates about what they’d be up to in his situation, with both Roxy and Tilde so close to him and each other and both well fit. But he respects Rox, and he’s arse-over-kettle for Tilde, so he stays away from those sorts of thoughts, makes sure the boys know not to get too racy, and calls it a day.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am not at all sorry for the title.

For all the shit that happened on and around V Day, Eggsy still came out relatively lucky. For one, both his baby sister and his mum didn’t suffer any serious injuries – while many people survived the day, few could say the same about their whole families. He proved himself worthy of Kingsman by stopping the megalomaniac and total world annihilation  _and_ secured one of the only jobs he could see himself in for the rest of his life. 

And, of course, he met Princess Tilde. 

He saved the world and got that kiss he wanted, among other things – things which included a phone number, a date, and eventually, a relationship. A Serious Relationship, as it turns out, caps and all, because six months after their first kiss, Eggsy asks Tilde to move in with him. And she says _yes_. The world is still recuperating, and Eggsy still has fits of grief when he found something new of Harry’s at the house, but he’s living with a princess ( _his_ princess, he’d sometimes say to her with a private awe he couldn’t always hide), and she loves him and his friends and his family. 

So, yeah, all in all, pretty lucky. 

But God must be making up for the shitshow Eggsy’s last two decades of living turned out to be, because his luck doesn’t stop with all that – and the rest of his ridiculous good turns start with the fact that Tilde is in England more regularly, sometimes when Eggsy’s away, even. She has her own friends, people she’s known through her family connections or school but she also made a point of visiting with his mum and Daisy when she had the time (especially since between the missions and recuperation, Eggsy couldn't make it over himself as often as he liked). And besides them, Tilde also has Roxy. 

Eggsy remembers introducing them a few weeks in when they just started dating. Roxy graciously didn’t mention that she knew Eggsy tupped her in Valentine’s bunker, but the princess was the one to bring it up – a kind of frankness that would gradually become less shocking to him. 

“Ah, so you’re the one who was stuck in the snow while this one took his precious time in my bed?” She peered at him over her wine glass with a raised eyebrow, as if it was especially rude that he wanted to make sure to prep her proper. (Look, Merlin gave him exactly as much time as he could, and Eggsy tried to make the most of it.) And he doesn’t feel too bad about the ribbing, knowing that Tilde was happy enough with him to give him another thought, and Roxy had given him a _look_ in her halo suit but understood. 

She gave him much the same treatment now, not even blinking when she cut into her roasted vegetables. “Yes, but I'm glad to see my near brush with frostbite was well worth it.” 

While the two ladies laughed warmly with each other, Eggsy groaned into his palm, already foreseeing their imminent friendship would amount to plenty headaches in his future. 

Even then, from the get go, his prediction was spot on. Sure, Til loves to be with the Unwin ladies, but they’re both a little too far from her age to “talk about certain _womanly_ things, Eggsy, and _no_ you don’t get to know what they are.” He figures that’s just code for her needing to talk to someone about her sex life, which could be weird if not for the fact of the intimacy wrought during the year of Kingsman training – their sense of boundaries is certainly blurred compared to other friendships. 

So he just shrugs and says, “As you wish,” to which she rolls her eyes because she had just seen _Princess Bride_ with him for the first time and she hasn’t stopped blushing at that (meaning he has at least a few more weeks to milk it). 

By the time they’ve been living together for two months, they already established a shared calendar so they know that either someone would be home to walk JB, or he has to be taken to the Kingsman kennels or dropped off with someone for the night. He begins to note his missions as (appropriately ambiguous) “business trips,” and her outings are just shorthanded as “Roxy,” but with what seemed to be randomized strings of emojis punctuating her name. Once, he noticed a knife in the string and asked if they were going to dinner, only for her tell him they were getting their nails done? So Eggsy’s stopped guessing and is just happy to at least see four familiar letters in the calendar entry. 

Strange emoji codes side, how great could his life get, that his best girls are so friendly to each other? He told them as much at one of their regular dinners (something they try to make happen twice a month), receiving a kiss on the temple from Til and light punch on the arm from Rox. 

It's at another of these dinners – at Roxy’s place this time because between Eggsy’s recent mission and Tilde’s ability to burn water, only Roxy is suitable to host – they mention to him their plans to start training Tilde up in jujitsu. She already knows some self-defense (especially after Valentine – being abducted will do that to you), but somewhere between lamenting the unfairly badass jobs they both have and her boredom with traditional fitness routes, they thought it could be a fun idea. 

“Of course your idea of fun is slinging bodies around,” he mocks Roxy, who shoots a hair tie at his forehead with deadly precision. 

“It’s not ‘slinging bodies around,’ it’s _ground fighting–”_

“Ugh, spare me the lecture, I'm not the one who signed up for it–” And he turns to Tilde. “– but _you_ did... You sure your friendship will withstand a bunch of yelling about form from this one?” 

“I’m a model student, Eggsy. Just because you couldn’t stand to train with her doesn’t mean I’ll fail.” 

Her answer is cool though her smile is warm. No, she won’t fail, because when she guns for perfection, that’s what she gets. (It's that kind of sappy thought that he has to reign in when he’s around his mates – including – no, _especially_ Roxy, because he is so unbelievably in love with this woman and it is a little sickening for an outsider to hear.)

So instead of saying something too saccharine, he just grins back at her.“Well, I think that’s a great idea. I’m sure you two will have loads of fun.” And because he can’t help himself, “Just mind you keep the face pretty.” They both throw their napkins at him. 

And it _did_ sound like a great idea – Eggsy is a fan of Tilde learning any and everything that might keep her safe. Later that night, he also expresses to her how hot it would be if she could _really_ overpower him in bed, and her only response is to use some truly underhanded moves that would certainly not be legal in any jujitsu competition to keep him pinned down while she has her way with him. So, yeah, Eggsy is totally on board. 

For a while, that’s all the conversation there is about that. Roxy somehow manages to get Tilde access to their manor – “only to train, and god help her if she puts her nose where it doesn’t belong,” Roxy recounts for them in a frighteningly good impression of their quartermaster. Some nights Tilde would get home complaining about sore muscles and take a bath and/or let Eggsy massage her. She'd tell him about what she learned with Roxy or pretend to show him but really just get him into compromising (read: sexy) positions. 

Then, one day, the stars (well, the shared calendars) align, and Eggsy has time to hit the gym when he knows the ladies would be there, too.

And – 

And Eggsy’s no perv, alright? 

He’s heard plenty of jokes from his mates about what they’d be up to in his situation, with both Roxy and Tilde so close to him and each other and both _well_ fit. But he respects Rox, and he’s arse-over-kettle for Tilde, so he stays away from those sorts of thoughts, makes sure the boys know not to get too racy, and calls it a day. 

But... there's something so – _irrepressible_ about seeing them facing off with each other, forms textbook because of course they are, eyes locked intensely even though he knows they must have noticed him come in. There's something undeniably _magnetic_ in the way they move, the way Roxy topples Tilde with a well-timed sweep of her leg, and the fall gets turned into a tactical repositioning so Tilde can roll back onto her feet, guard up and eyes never losing sight of her opponent. 

Maybe it was just because Eggsy never really let himself imagine what they’d look like? Or because, for all the times he’s seen them together, their hands (their whole bodies) have never been in such an intricate dance before? 

Whatever the case may be, the result is the same: he runs away. 

When he gets a text fifteen minutes later asking where he went, that they looked for him after their session wrapped up, he lies about getting pinged for something on a recent report. He can’t very well tell them he needed to excuse himself because he got sprung like he’s some fourteen-year-old virgin who doesn't have control of his body. That’s just not _on_. He’s _in love_ with one and _best mates_ with the other, so _this_ – it’s unwelcome, annoying, shameful. And he and Tilde (and he and Roxy) are generally amazing about their candidness with each other (see Roxy and Tilde’s first conversation), but this is like tripping over a line and not knowing how to get back. 

To make matters worse, even though he hid his – mishap – well enough, and he makes sure never to walk in on their training sessions again, some things change anyway. 

Roxy, who is sometimes joked about when she’s hanging with Eggsy’s friends as the quintessential Good English Girl, is typically quite reserved. But lately, she’s become more comfortable with physical contact, maybe because of the recent training, which isn’t really meant to help her take people down for work but really is just for fun. Eggsy’s begun to notice an increase in the casual touches she issues – and not just Tilde, but to himself, too. 

And these nights he and Til are seeing more of her strap-on, which is really the opposite of a problem, except he keeps wondering, at the height of pleasure when he can’t control such traitorous thoughts, if she’s imagining she’s fucking Roxy instead, and he isn’t even faking the mortification when Tilde laughs at him for shooting off before she gets her turn. 

Predictably, it’s Tilde who finally breaks the weeks of tension one night while Rox is away on a mission and they’re having their weekly (or as weekly as possible with schedules like theirs) date night. 

“Have you ever thought about asking Roxy for a threesome?” 

Her question is either dreadfully or perfectly timed – he nearly chokes on the beer he was drinking (which Tilde would say, when she tells the story to Roxy, was an overdramatic response, because Eggsy doesn’t even _have_ a gag reflex, and Eggsy has to huff and tell her _again_ that isn’t what that means). 

Instead of answering, he eloquently sputters (because there is still beer in his mouth), “Have _you_?” 

That night, once all has been said on the matter, resolves made, she makes him use the fleshlight on his cock while he takes hers, bent over his back so she can whisper, “Do you think this is what it would feel like when we're all together?” and “or maybe _she_ will fuck you” and "what a lucky, lucky boy you are –” 

And as good as the fleshlight it, it’s really for _stim_ ulation rather than _sim_ ulation because, if Roxy really were there, he’d feel the tremor of her muscles as she struggled to keep up with their three-person rhythm, and the shivers of her whole body as she comes, and he _knows_ Tilde wants to direct his thoughts that way but – 

He’s nearly sobbing when he reaches his peak, because his brain and his body are so inundated with pleasure. When his mind is back online, he fucks her with her favorite toy and tells her all the wretched thoughts he’d in bed these past few weeks and gets to feel smug about how long it takes her to speak in full sentences again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you guess... what's gonna happen... in the next chapter?! 
> 
> It's already written and just needs to be edited! I should have it posted in a week. 
> 
> Please feel free to point out any errors. Comments and kudos give me life. <3 Also, I'm on tumblr as usedromance!


	2. Chapter 2

In a week, here’s how he finds himself: 

On his knees beside Roxy, carpet digging into their knees, sharing the honor of sucking Tilde’s rainbow cock, occasionally touching tongues turning into messy kissing – which he thought would be at least a little weird, but of course Tilde was right in anticipating how much he’d like it. He worried that maybe Roxy would feel any reticence, but she’s more like Tilde than he imagined, easing into sensuality like a silk dress. She sucks on his tongue the way he saw her sucking the head of the brilliant toy and his cock fills out steadily, already turned on by being on his knees, hearing Tilde moan as if she really is attached to the toy the two were taking turns on (as she’s tried to explain to Eggsy, it feels and looks hot enough that it arouses her like any other sexual act). 

He knows that, by this point, she would test Eggsy, shove his head down as far as it could go, but this time, she grabs Roxy’s unkempt ponytail and tugs her down. Watching with a hand on his cock, Eggsy clenches and strokes with every choke, every up-and-down slide, and Tilde watches, too, staring down at Roxy with something like wonder as she catches her breath and dives back down like the world’s most committed lifeguard, like she was trying to earn a big finish from the piece of silicone. 

But Tilde doesn’t come yet (even though Eggsy knows firsthand that she could, just from this) because she has _plans_ and can get too sensitive when she’s wearing that harness. Instead, she directs Eggsy into his front, face buried in the crook of an arm, and he raises his hips for a pillow to slide under, shuddering when he hears the pop of the lube cap like some kind of trained response, but waits a tick longer for the one-line conversation behind him to resolve: 

“Wait – can I...?” 

He holds a breath until he feels it, the first breach of fingers slightly smaller than Tilde’s. When he finally breaths, it comes out in a whine. The sound stops Roxy in her tracks and she prompts inquisitively, “Eggsy?”

“Yes, God, keep going.” 

“He’ll tell you if it’s too much,” Tilde adds her assurance and Roxy hums and continues the slow slide in. He knows better than to try to set the pace himself, especially when Roxy seems a bit hesitant (which Eggsy isn’t at all surprised by and finds himself imagining doing this enough times that she gets over that) but he can’t really help some expressions of his impatience, which for now just means he rests his weight forward on his collar bone and face so he can reach back and spread himself invitingly. 

“ _Slyna_ ,” Tilde accuses him fondly, pinching his thigh not-too-harshly. “I did warn you, Roxy, didn’t I?” Even as she pretends to lament Eggsy’s behavior, Roxy seems to want to be a little nicer, because she starts an easy rhythm that has Eggsy’s breath staggered. 

He's feeling so good that he almost doesn’t notice the gentle sounds of the cap opening again, another wet beat starting that he could probably identify if he was paying any attention. But his lip is between his teeth, listening intently for the small sounds coming from the back of Roxy’s throat when he occasionally clenches around her fingers, and he has to stop her when she brushes so lightly against the magical nerves in him.

“Oh, don’t,” he begs, shooting a hand to the bedspread to fist the material, grounding him, already feeling his cock wetting the pillow. He’s working hard not to just thrust down because he knows he’ll regret it if he comes just now. 

He hears her laugh when she says, “Sorry,” but then she _stops._ Before he can turn around and make a fuss, he blindly feels it happen – Tilde repositions her so she’s leaning a bit more over Eggsy, hand coming beside his (and when he instinctively tangles their fingers together, he’s grateful for Roxy’s return squeeze) and he knows that the next slick noises are Tilde fitting herself _inside_. Now the noises coming from Roxy could be because of either one of the bodies she’s sandwiched between and isn’t that a fucking hot thought? 

Roxy seems caught off guard by the bliss, so Tilde helps her by grabbing her wrist, moves her hand in and out of Eggsy until Roxy resumes her initial task, pace a little more unsteady but, well, who is Eggsy to complain? The hand he still has holding one off his butt cheeks moves to meet Roxy’s fingers, tucking one in beside her three. And eventually they have an easy synchronicity going, Roxy letting her hand be pushed by the rest of her body, which is in turn pushed by Tilde. 

The slight break let Eggsy feel in control enough to peek back at them, unsurprised by the hazy look Roxy’s wearing, especially with one of Tilde’s hands on her tits, playing with her nipples, rubbing and squeezing the soft flesh of her, and another at her clit, gentle and smooth as her fucking. He knows she must be _deep_ with the way they’re moving, less a hard and fast dicking but more of a pattern of pressure and release, right up against her walls and back out just a little, again and again. He knows that tactic – Tilde is giving Roxy no chance to breathe; she can only feel the insistent head of Tilde’s cock. 

He gets to watch her come like that, and doesn’t mind when she curls her fingers on his and in him because he’s pretty sure that right now, she can’t exactly help herself. His eyes flutter for a moment when she presses on his spot, but he fights to keep them open because Roxy is quiet when she finishes, but her face, her body is so expressive. Her eyes scrunch shut and she bites her lip, as if forced by habit. Her whole face pinkens and he follows the blush down her neck, her chest. Her limbs shudder like she’s shocked through her core, and Tilde holds her through it, whispering sweet words in her ears, arms wrapped around her tenderly. 

She's the one who pulls Roxy’s hand out after she’s already withdrawn herself. Once Tilde cleans off Roxy and Eggsy rights himself, he takes over coddling Rox by framing her face in his hands, kissing her dazed expression until she starts to kiss back. 

“Spaced out there for a bit, didn’t you?” 

“It’s been a while,” she protests, shoving him backwards gently. “And Tilde is _very_ good at what she does,” she murmurs when the princess kneels behind her once more. 

“Is that so? I did promise we'll take good care of you.” Her arms go around Roxy’s waist when she nuzzles into her hair. “May I make you come again?” 

“Oh, if you insist.” She giggles when she turns her head, rubbing their noses together before tilting forward to meet their lips together. 

“Oy, and what about me?” he teases only after watching them for a bit. 

One of Tilde’s hands drops down to brush against Eggsy’s erection, letting some of his precum dampen her fingers. “Hm... for you? I think you can ride my cock now.” 

“Yes, _please_.” 

She repositions them so she’s flat on the bed, Roxy settled primly on her face, and in no time Eggsy’s astride Til’s strong thighs. He’s struggling not to finish too early even as he’s fucking himself on his favorite dick, even though he’s watching Roxy grind on his girlfriend’s face, even though he’s listening to their overlapping sounds of pleasure. On Rox’s part, she’s transfixed by the sight of Eggsy’s hole swallowing up Tilde’s cock over and over, visible because of her insistence that she wanted to see, so he’s leaning his hands back on Tilde’s knees, legs spread, chest out, cock at attention, and feeling every inch the exhibitionist he knows he is. 

She has one hand on her breast and the others similarly fondling Tilde’s, tweaking a nipple once in a while and smirking at the wet gasp below her, Tilde’s hands on her thighs gripping and squeezing encouragingly all the while. 

“Christ, her _tongue_ , Eggsy,” she lets out shakily with her head thrown back. And he _knows_ , god, does he ever. 

He wants to make a quip about her tongue in turn, something smooth and clever, but what comes out instead is a choked, “Suck me?” He can’t stop thinking about it when he’s watching her like this, lips bitten red, mouth open to emit pleasured noises or to pant needily. 

And Tilde must approve because she groans into Roxy’s folds and jerks her hips up, disturbing Eggsy’s rhythm, and both of them share breathless smiles. Out of the three of them, Tilde seemed to be in such a position of power, orchestrating them, suave in her seductions and her artful pleasuring. It’s only fair that she _finally_ loses her cool. 

He puts one of his hands on his prick to help direct it into Roxy’s mouth, while she takes the time to lean forward and brush her hair back, adjust herself atop Tilde’s face. 

For a moment she just strokes, getting her first feel for his cock so up close. Until Roxy peeks up at him mischievously, he doesn’t even realize that he’s begging on each breath, but she takes mercy on him and lowers her lips to his spongy head. 

From the noises coming from between her legs, it sounds like Tilde has her mouth open, and he can imagine her with her tongue out over her lip, providing a wet surface for Roxy to rub on (which she is doing unabashedly even while she starts to bob steadily on the length of him). 

He's circling his hips to not choke Roxy and to get the tip of the rainbow dick to kiss his prostate on every turn, not only building up the pressure within him but having the added effect of rubbing Tilde’s mons in a way she _loves_. Soon, he’s leaking profusely into Roxy and she’s getting faster in the movements of her hips and her head, and Tilde is making familiar pleading noises, moving with Eggsy to get the friction she wants. 

And it’s as easy as that for them to come one after the other: 

Roxy is first, raising from her task to reach a hand behind her, tangling into Tilde’s tresses while she writhes in tight motions, quieting once again though now Eggsy can see the spasm of her stomach, her thighs. She trembles all the way until she finishes. Tilde is next – she grabs Eggsy’s hips to jerk him against her sharply, sobbing when she starts to come but doesn’t stop moving him. That motion, combined with the hand on his cock, tight and deliberate, makes him spurt onto his stomach, hissing through his teeth when they make sure to get every drop from him they can.

It’s like the strings keeping them composed in well-coordinated shapes are cut and they collapse into each other. 

Afterwards, when they collect the strength back in their limbs with giggles and shoving and massaging sore limbs, Roxy heads off to grab the first shower in the en suite and Tilde cleans him up as much as possible in the meantime. 

“How are you feeling, _kära_?” she asks while she strokes his sweat-damp hair. 

“Like I’m about to wake up from the nastiest dream I’ve ever had.” 

She smiles as if she knew that’s what would come out of his mouth, and she probably did because she’s just that fucking good. 

“How about you catch your breath here and I give Roxy company?” 

Her accent lends extra energy to her words, but Eggsy can see that while he’s still gelatinous, she’s still hungry. 

“You two better tire each other out in there because I'm _knackered_ ,” he complains with a teasing look on his face. 

And with a kiss, she’s off, leaving Eggsy to stare up at the ceiling of the house he lives in with his amazing girlfriend, listening to her and his best friend murmuring in the shower. 

Tilde was right – he is a lucky boy, indeed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case it wasn't obvious, I had a heck of a lot of fun with this. Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it. 
> 
> Please feel free to point out any errors. Comments and kudos give me life!


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